Most horrible thing on TV right now

Posted on Feb 6, 2008 in Misc. | 1 comment

I’m no fan of fast food, but it’s impossible not to notice all the advertising they put out. Some of it is vapid, unimaginative junk (McDonald’s “I’m lovin’ it”); some creepy (anything with Burger King’s plastic, giant-headed “king” character); and some actually funny (Jack in the Box’s ads featuring “Jack”—who also has a giant head).

The other day I was horrified by Dairy Queen’s animated commercial. If you’re fortunate enough to have avoided it, congratulations; let me explain it. An male shrimp is popping fried bits into his mouth from a DQ box. His wife (presumably; maybe they’re just shacking up?) appears and he tells her he’s eating popcorn. Apparently smarter than her exo-skeletal mate, she says “that’s not popcorn, that’s popcorn shrimp!” A pregnant pause, then: “where are the children?!” she screams, and he joins her.

What is DQ saying here? That their food is so good that it inspires not only canabalism, but infanticidal cannabalism? Assuming the shrimp knows what he’s eating, that’s what it means. The alternative is almost worse: that a restaurant has kidnapped baby shrimp (a crustacean version of the Gobblers from the Golden Compass) and knowingly feeding it its customers. Who the hell’s behind the counter at DQ? Hannibal Lecter?

Marketing 101 tells us that this commercial works great because here we are talking about it: “no such thing as bad publicity.” But damn, this commercial is gross and yes, bordering on offensive. DQ, you’ve lost my business! (Sure, I’ve only eaten there twice in the past few years, if you call having a Blizzard “eating.”)