Scott Bush

If linguistic relativism is true, then we’re in for some trouble. I’ve found it’s becoming commonplace to use strange constructions or multiple simple words to name items for which perfectly good names already exist. Why is that? Laziness? Maybe at first… but I think it’s more than that. There seems to be a trend to “dumb it down” for people who “might not understand.” While it’s true that many people may not know a word, I don’t agree that they can’t use the opportunity to learn. If they chose not to, they remain ignorant. But if they do… then that’s a positive experience and strengthens the vibrancy of the English language.

Two examples will illustrate my point. A few years back, McDonalds valiantly tried to remake its image as purveyor of a healthy lifestyle by adding a pedometer to its “adult happy meals.” But they didn’t call it a pedometer. Instead they named it “stepometer.” Excuse me? Stepometer? Is that because they thought the typical McDonald’s customer doesn’t know the word pedometer? I’m all for healthy lifestyles and walking, but I’d eschew this thing on principle alone (that, and the fact I don’t eat at McDonalds).

At a recent backyard BBQ, the discussion turned to lawn care. “I use water from my rain barrel to water the lawn,” my friend told us. “Cool,” I exclaimed. “I wish more people used cisterns,” I added, using the term for a container to hold rain water. “Hmm? What’re those?” My friend asked. I explained that his rain barrel is supposed to be called a cistern. “Wonder why they didn’t call it that at the store?” He asked. Me too.

Anyone have other examples of names being omitted in favor of some silly construction? Perhaps a “big ground watch” for a sundial?

This post may sound like the title of an Oprah or Dr. Phil episode. So be it. I just wanted to write about one great moment that my mind somehow managed to recognize as such, despite being in its midst.

My newly-married friend Jacob and I had met to toss the disc at a field near his house. We’d been out for nearly an hour so we were nice and warmed up. Jacob, about 50 yards away across the field, balanced the Frisbee on his middle and index fingers; he launched it. I watched it soar across the field, a175-gram white disc framed against a beautiful blue sky dotted with wisps of white clouds. Unseen birds chirped; a hot but not oppressive sun warmed my shirtless chest. As the Frisbee approached, I realized it would sail pass me unless I got moving. My legs pumped under me as I chased it, dropping lower as I closed in. I jump, hand extended to snatch it from its gravity-mandated trajectory.

Life, for those few moments, is simple: catch the Frisbee. Everything was in place: weather, temperature, time, body, mind. Nothing obscured my thoughts… daily worries, obstacles, work, family—they all faded away as I focused on my goal. A perfect moment. Must be why dogs love to catch Frisbees, though I imagine it’s easier for them to forget what doggy problems occupy their minds.

We’ve all been known to exclaim “Geeze, this pizza tastes like cardboard!” after biting into a slice of cheap ‘za. Or perhaps complained about some overcooked, sinewy flank steak (well, not me of course). That’s all hyperbole of course… unless you’re in Beijing eating a particular of steam bun:

Squares of cardboard picked from the ground are first soaked to a pulp in a plastic basin of caustic soda—a chemical base commonly used in manufacturing paper and soap—then chopped into tiny morsels with a cleaver. Fatty pork and powdered seasoning are stirred in.

First it was melanine-tainted dog food , then poisoned toothpaste, and now pulpy steamed buns. Ouch. If China were a brand, they would definitely be experiencing damage like Jack in the Box’s e-coli hamburgers (1993), Exxon’s Valdez oil spill in Prince William Sound (1989), or Firestone’s exploding tires (2000). With the 2008 Olympic Games coming up next year in Beijing, let’s hope they can turn their public image around—not to mention putting something edible in their steam buns.

UPDATE!

Tara Kolden, an eagle-eyed and socially responsible reader of this blog, informed me that the cardboard-filled steamed buns are a hoax! But at least I am in good company—this story was all over the AP wire. Now it’ll be relegated to Snopes.com. Oh, and the Seattle Times. Thanks Tara. I’d go eat one, except they’re still filled with pork.

My readers may know that my mother’s side of the family is French Canadian, and that I love our northern neighbor. Trips “back home” to Quebec are wonderful, and visits to B.C. are always enjoyable. It’s with that background that I spotted a section of our company’s “Diversity Board,” which this month features Americans with disabilities.

Each month, the diversity board illuminates facts, accomplishments, events, and noteworthy luminaries of a particular group. It’s quite a good display, actually. This month, the board displayed the movie Murderball, info about the ADA, and a who’s-who of disabled Americans. Then I noticed an incongruity that can only be explained as (a) a diversity topic that didn’t warrant its own display, yet worthy of mention; or (b) a biting commentary on America’s view of Canadians. Though I’m sure it’s the former, I couldn’t help but snap this photo for my Canadian brethren to judge for themselves.

Keep your heads up, Canadians! I know it’s been a tough year, with the Ottowa Senators losing the Stanley Cup to an American team (with a wimpy name, too: the “ducks,” and from the west coast, no less!). Take solace in the fact that the American dollar is nearly on par with the Luni. So, enjoy a double-double and know that not all of us think of you merely as disabled versions of ourselves. (But we do know that your former prime minister Steven Harper eats babies.)

Bear in mind I grew up in the 80s, so of course I had both He-Men and Transformers. Until some director steps forward to put muscle-bound men with swords fighting mythical enemies (Oh, wait: Zack Snyder already did that; it was called 300), I’ll have to content myself with Michael Bay’s Transformers.

And content I am! I’ve just seen an early showing and I am very impressed. I knew nothing of the storyline and fully expected a special-effect bore of a film staggering under the weight of its own hype (cough, cough, Pirates 3, cough). Instead I, along with a theatre full of my 30-something peers, were treated to a truly excellent film. Here’s what I thought:

Story

There really are two threads here: the human element, distilled into an awkward teenager’s crush on a (impossibly-hot-unlike-any-real-high-school) girl. That, and his need for a car to impress said girl. The second thread, of course, is the battle between the Autobots (the good guys) and Decepticons (the bad guys). To sum it up very succinctly, there’s an important thing both the Autobots and Decipticons want that the US government has; once its location is known, there’s an all-out race/fight to obtain it.

Special effects and filming

How the digital effects team pulled of this masterpiece is beyond me. Many scenes suffer from excessive camera movement and overly-close zoom (what I derisively call the Bourne Effect after terrible fight-scene camera work in those movies). Bay’s unique approach to filming, though, gives credence to how these fights and action are portrayed. It’s hard to describe, but when you see the action from the ground, sweeping from behind, above, and in front of a human character, you’ll see what I mean. Besides, there are plenty of excellently detailed, slow-motion scenes to counter balance. I had goosebumps watching Jazz, an Autobot, cartwheeling over missiles in slow-mo to jump atop Devastator (a tank) and twist his barrel.

Comedy and dialog

Now, here’s something I wouldn’t have expected from this film: great humor. Make no mistake, this is an action flick. But you’ll find yourself laughing quite often–and really laughing. John Turturro and Anthony Anderson are both hilarious and perform excellently in their roles. Surprisingly, the Autobots bring an element of understated physical humor; when they’re not blasting and fighting, that is.

There’s also a few excellent lines that deserve mention. The female heroine, Mikaela, is introduced with the line “Her? She’s an evil jock concubine, man.” Classic. Another good one is “I bought a car. Turn out to be an alien robot… who knew?” Corny, but Shia LaBeouf’s delivery makes up for it.

Nods to the Transformers legacy

Anytime a movie is translated from a cartoon, comic, or video game, there needs to be some sort of connection that speaks to the original fanbase; a little something for the people for whom the movie is an event, not just a movie. Transformers has some good ones.

1. Peter Cullen voices Optimus Prime. He’s the voice actor from the original cartoon and, I’m told, some of the later incarnations. (Strangely, Frank Welker doesn’t voice Megatron in the film, but does in an upcoming video game.) It’s great the first time he says “Autobots, roll out!”
2. Sam tells Mikaela that “there’s more to you than meets the eye.”
3. The scene I describe above where an Autobot (don’t recall which one) collars Devastator’s tank barrel is lifted right from the 1986 animated Transformers movie. (Thanks Sean for explaining this one to me.)
4. During Optimus’s fight with Megatron, he intones: “One shall stand, one shall fall,” a classic line from the original movie.
5. The subtle, yet unmistakable sound of the transformation. It’s more electric sounding than the original, but it’s there.

GMC, anyone?

Not only are Transformers interstellar soldiers, they apparently are quite selective about the forms they take and prefer American-made vehicles. This movie is a veritable showroom floor for GMC cars and trucks. Let’s see what I can remember off the top of my head: Chevy Camaro and Suburban, Pontiac Sunfire, Cadillac Escalade and CTS. Advertising is moving toward product placement and this movie is the poster child. Apple products feature prominently, as does a Nokia phone, an xbox360, eBay, and others that are probably too subtle for me to recall, but I’m sure I want to buy one. Oh, and one other ad: the military. If watching this film didn’t make you want to sign up, nothing will.

Overall

In a word, this film is superb. You don’t need Transformer knowledge to enjoy it. It has the perfect mix of comedy, intense action, special effects, and characters that are developed just enough for you to care about them. I understand there’s a sequel planned in 2009 (hmmm… let me guess: Unicron rejuvenates Megatron to become Galvatron?). I hope this franchise doesn’t suffer from the same fate that X-Men and Pirates do, which is too much crap piled into sequels just to sell more tickets and action figures.

If you’re a WordPress blogger (as you should be) then you may already know about some of the great features WP offers. Cool people with time and some PHP knowledge have made WP even better by writing plug-ins. I just read an excellent article over at SmashingMagazine that compiled an amazing list of must-have WP plug-ins. You’d better get over there and start downloading plug ins if you’re a WP user! (I found one that displays WP’s administration sub-options without having to click. Seems like a small thing but over time that saved click adds up to some serious time!)

I also came across a font resource that no designer should be without. It’s called UrbanFonts, and has tons of free fonts (both Mac and PC format, though I had trouble with a few on the Mac side) all categorized. Good stuff!